Wednesday, June 29

It's pizza time, bitches!

Nothing quite like having a slice of pizza pie and a nice cold glass of beer after a long day. It's so fucking American. It's kismet that 4th o' July is right around the corner. But I also love pizza because there are so many ways you can improvise with it. The dough, the sauce, the cheese, the toppings; hell, even how you cook the damn thing!

This time I decided to get a little inventive. I had some potatoes that I really needed to dip into and what I like to do with them is slice them into thin oval slices and dredge them in Tony Chachere's Creole Seasoning. I Need To Capitalize Every Word In This Seasoning. Because I Fucking Love It.
Seriously. When my heart gives up from all the sodium I pump through it. It'll be because of this glorious bastard.

I used about three-fourths of a stick of butter in a cast iron and sauteed up half of a finely diced onion and about a teaspoon of chopped garlic. I like to layer the Chachere-coated potato slivers over the onion/garlic like a sheet. I then tossed in some sliced chinese style sausages, which tend to be dried, hard, have a high fat content (a running theme in my dishes) and are sweet in flavor. They really go well with garlic; trust me! I had it on medium heat and covered for about 8 to 10 minutes and then turned the potatoes and lowered to a simmer. I then drizzled with an italian pizza blend and just turned it every 5 minutes until it was cooked through and the potatoes were tender. If you want crispy, you'll want to have the potatoes directly touching the pan with the butter which would require you to remove the sauteed onion/garlic or push them suckers to the side. I usually crisp them, but I went for something more mushy.
So...while I was doing all that business. It's a good idea to have your oven already preheating to 425 degrees. There are obviously tons of way to do you dough, but my cheap ass does Jiffy's pizza crust which is like 50 cents a box. I use two of those mixed up thoroughly with a cup of warm water and you'll get a damn good sized medium pizza that serves 8 large slices of pizzas. Of course, I mix Tony Chachere's Creole Seasoning into the dough. You can add whatever you're little heart desires. Fucking go nuts, yo! I like to keep the mixed up dough in the bowl covered with damp paper towels and let it sit on the now hot oven for 10 mins or so to let the dough rise for a spell.

When the dough is ready to roll out, I make sure to bombard an empty table with flour and flop the dough onto it and toss a retarded amount of flour onto the dough ball. Surprisingly, I've never had too much flour. There always seems to be sticky spots later on, especially when your rolling it out. I like to massage the dough really well to get all the knots out and then start playing with it until it's pretty flexible. I find it best to make it into a ball and then starting rolling it out with a pin in alternating directions to get it into an even thickness all the way across.
You can do so many things with the sauce. I usually make my own with tomato paste and tomato sauce blended with chopped basil and seasoned with sugar, salt and Tony Chachere's (of course!), but I've been working with Ragu sauce lately to mix thangs up. So I did their tomato (really, they needed to clarify that ingredient?), basil and onion sauce.
I'll spread it out with curled fingers or a large tablespoon or a spatula. Whatever you feel like rawking, y'know? Just as long as it's a decent layer throughout, really to your preference. I then added a pound of mixed cheeses: colby jack and mozzarrella. I have in the past exclusively made pizza with buffalo cheese, which is absolutely fucking phenomenal (although pricey), but if you go that route be aware that it sweats a lot and you'll be dabbing the pizza with paper towels alot. I then spread the potato/sausage goodness over the cheese and finished it off with pepperoni.
I have a convection oven, so it was done in about 10 to 15 minutes, but it depends on your oven and of course how you like it cooked. I like it golden brown on top, fairly crispy crust but fairly soft dough under the bread, but still cooked through. I haveta say, it turned out pretty sexy and the potatoes definetely added a nice mix to it. That's what I love about pizza, there really isn't a wrong ingredient so long as you accompany it with other appropriate ingredients.
As a side note, my roomie was so inspired by this cooking endeavor of mine that he's buying us fire stones 
to line in our convection oven so we can cook pizzas on it. So look forward to more inventive pizza updates! 

Saturday, June 18

a sans ricotta lasagna

I've never cooked lasagna so this recipe was entirely improved. I just glanced at the oven temp and the suggested ingredients and went from there. Turned out great, surprisingly. Haha!

I used a 9 x 13 glass casserole dish that I buttered up

Boil plenty of lasagna noodles in water (I add a little salt to water when I cook pasta). In a 9 x 13 you should be able to fit about 3 noodles lengthwise. I did 3-4 layers of noodles, but plan accordingly to how many noodles you want to work with. I cooked mine almost to completion, so when they baked, they cooked the rest of the way.

Meat sauce
1.5-2 lb ground beef
2/3-1 cup Ragu pasta sauce
10-14 oz diced tomatoes w/ chilies
diced garlic
chopped yellow onion
a pizza/pasta seasoning mixture that has your standard italian herbs like basil, oregano, fennel, etc (you can   use whatever hearthy seasonings you prefer)
cayenne, salt and pepper to taste

In butter I sauted the onions for a spell and then added garlic. Added dried ground beef to start browning it and added the pasta sauce, tomatoes and the seasonings. I like a little spice in my meals and love enhancing those flavors with salt so I usually use a lot of both.


Cheeses:
Obviously ricotta is the traditional cheese in lasagna, but I fucking hate ricotta, so I replaced it with about a cup each of mozzarella and colby jack.
I also used about a cup of those hard cheese blends you get in the supermarket made with parmesan and romano.

Make sure you're oven is preheated to 375
I don't know if there's a rule as to how to layer, but I started with the meat sauce, then cheese, then lasagna noodles and then went willy nilly from there. I ended with noodles on top. You can end with cheese to get that nice gooey topping, but I didn't only because I ran outta cheese. I don't think the layering makes a damn difference though since it's held in by a casserole anyways. I think as long as it looks consistentish from the side, you're all good.

I cooked it covered for 20 mins and then uncovered for 20 mins. I have a convection oven that cooks pretty fucking fast so you may wanna up that to 25 mins each if you have an oven that doesn't cook as fast.


I let it cool for about 10 mins before hacking into it.
I felt mine had a little too much parmesan, but other than that it was pretty damn good. Who says you need ricotta!? haha

Bacon-wrapped Jalapeno

Yay! More bacon.

Take a jalapeno and lop off the tail end a bit to make a cap. Scoop out all the seedy bits. Stuff it with cream cheese. This is where you can get creative with what you wanna stuff it with. A friend suggested pre-cooked chicken bits.

Wrap it up with thin cut bacon a couple times making sure the cap is on securely. To combat the overly spiciness of a whole grilled jalapeno, I dredged the mouth burner with some brown sugar.

Delectable!

Bacon-wrapped Dog

Bacon makes everything better. You can wrap just about anything with bacon and it'll be better tasting. Here's one way...

Take a hot dog and slice it horizontally to remove out a sliver from it lengthwise and stuff that now vacant spot with pepperoni and cheese (I use colby jack). You can add anything else while you're at it, maybe cream cheese blended with sliced jalepenos. Or maybe a veggie if you're some hippie freak. haha


Then wrap that bad boy in bacon. I prefer thinly sliced and overly wrapped at least two times because that bacon's gonna shrink!

Throw it on the grill, but be aware that all the grease will cause massive flame outs if you're not watchful so you may wanna put it to the side of the main heat.


The Sweesy Burger

Probably one of my finest improvisational creations. I was coming up with random ideas to mess around with burgers and this invention evolved suddenly.

Ground beef mixed with ground turkey
     -I think the beef/turkey should be mixed to a 50/50 ratio or to whatever ratio you prefer.
     -I only use ground beef with 20% fat, which gives it a nice marbled look and the fat really soaks up any      
       added flavors.
Brown sugar, honey, and fructose (or table sugar)
     -I added about 1-2 tablespoons each per 2 lbs of meat. I'm allergic to sugar so I used fructose, but I'm
       sure table sugar would work just fine.
Diced colby jack cheese
     -You really can't add too much cheese to a burger so just do what you think is best. Don't be afraid to try
       other cheeses too!
Sea salt to taste
Egg
     -Egg helps keep the burgers from sticking to the grill when you flip them

Basic cooking guidelines:
Mix all the shit together and grill.

A neat little trick I learned when grilling hamburger patties is to finger them into a bowl shape so the juices puddle into the bowl before you flip them.
This sweet burger should be really juicy and will hopefully not need any condiments. Sandwich between some buns and you should be ready to rock n roll.